The turn signal was originally developed as a type of petty oneupmanship communicating that you thought were more considerate than others. It was used extensively by England during the polite wars of the 1600s as a way of telling the French they were proud not to live in a culture of decadence. Incidentally the turn signal also prevents many accidents, saves time for others wishing to turn, and serves as a reminder of where you wanted to turn five seconds ago.
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| Early adoption of the turn signal resulted in fewer collisions |
The Turn Signal Today
The turn signal is dead and we have killed it. How shall we comfort ourselves? Altoids.
—Friedrich Nietzsche
Today the turn signal is a way of letting others know that you want them to die. The turn signal imparts not only how immeasurably better you think you are, but tells others that you would have rathered they would not exist, for they are wasting your immensely more important time.
Some scholars argue that the turn signal is not dead, but remains a cultural phenomenon in use by several narcissistic individuals. Such claims should be dismissed, for turn signal behavior is a medical affliction. Turn signal use now serves as a single symptom diagnosis of oppositional defiant personality disorder in the DSM IV. Thus, turn signal use is not a cultural entity. To illustrate, scat porn is a cultural phenomenon, appendicitis is not.
How To Use a Turn Signal
Five seconds before you begin to turn to your destination, apply pressure to the turn signal lever. Press up if you wish to turn right, and down if you will be turning left. Observe that you are the only one to use a turn signal. Notice the police car in front of you does not have his signal on. Realize that you are in a turning lane.
